


The Heir and the Rogue

by Bisabis



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blurb, F/M, Fluff, JohnRox - Freeform, Oneshot, it's cute i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2014-07-27
Packaged: 2018-02-10 15:28:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2030313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bisabis/pseuds/Bisabis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically a rewrite of their first meeting. (Rated for the b-word and "ass")</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Heir and the Rogue

It’s weird being the same age as your friend’s mom.

Like, super weird.

Seeing her struggle with being a teenager at the same time you are is really a mind-blowing experience. That, and seeing her struggling with receiving orders from your mutt-deranged ecto-sister didn’t help process the whole thing.

John decided not to immediately introduce himself, lest he get zapped into the void by said friend’s mom with budding godtier powers. _Stacy’s mom has got it goin’ on GET OUT OF MY HEAD, STUPID SONG!_

John shook his head violently before clearing his throat to speak. “Hello?”

“Who’s there?” a pile of green cubes yelled. “I’ll zap you into the void with my awesome powers! Power!” A slight pause. “I’ll do it, I swear on my mom!”

John stifled a laugh. “I know your mom!” Really, Egbert? Why not just say hi? “Hi.” Nailed it.

One of the blocks shot out of the neat pyramid with a short “pop,” landing a few feet away. A masked face peered through it. The light on the inside made everything have a greenish tint, but the eyes were a definite pink. She stared at his floating figure, looking him up and down. “Hi,” she said. “Who are you?”

“I’m John! John Egbert,” John replied. “I’d shake your hand, but you’re kind of hidden.”

“You know my mom?” she asked incredulously. “What’s her name then?”

John frowned, drawing his mouth to the side. He just wanted to shake her hand or something. And see what she looked like. Rose showed him a silhouette once, since she basically described her mother as a ninja and that was the best picture she got that wasn’t an embarrassing studio picture from Sears. All he could see now was a curled fringe and questioning eyes. He pushed up his glasses and answered anyway. “Rose Lalonde.”

She squinted. “You’re suspicious, you have a nice face.” She replaces the block with a fresh one. A few seconds later, the blocks at the very top begin to move, slowly and carefully. John sets himself down and realizes the pyramid is about a foot taller than he was. He was used to Jade being his height, which was a staggering five-foot-ten, but he had no idea how tall Roxy was. Not like it mattered, really. He just hadn’t thought about it before. Rose’s photo made it look like she was pretty tall, but when you’re short, everything looks tall. She might have been wearing heels in the picture for all he knew.

Then, covered arms began to move them out of the way. The elbows came to about his head, but that could mean anything. Wait, why was he getting to hot and bothered about someone’s height?

Finally, a blonde head popped out of the hole. “John Egbert?” she asked.

“Yes!” he answered a little too loudly. The hair was exactly the same as the silhouette Rose had showed him, which was wrapped under a mask that covered her eyes. She’s kinda cute.

* * *

 

She crosses her arms in front of her and leans on them, showing great interest in this boy that had infiltrated her prison. Floating makes the task so much easier. He’s kinda cute. And tall.

“You must be Roxy?” he asked.

“The one, the only!” she answered with gusto. She should have added a salute in there.

“Cool! I know your daughter-slash-mom.”

“You said that already,” she giggles. He looks kinda hot and bothered right now. He even tugged at his collar.

“Oh yeah, heh.”

“How’d’ya get in here?”

“Do you want the short version or the longer one?”

“I’m not goin’ anywhere anytime soon, so the longer one.” She’s just glad to get a break from Jake’s crazy grandma, who was supposed to be good, but not really in her right mind right now. She sympathizes since she’s basically being controlled by the batterwitch, but at the same time, she hates being ordered around to do evil by someone who’s supposed to be a good guy.

“Okay, then.” He gathered some of the fail blocks and made himself a little chair, but his knees go up nearly to his chin, so it’s pretty hysterical. “I stuck my hand through a window and now I’m kind of everywhere at once. I can pretty much go anywhere at any time.”

“Awesome! Can you get me out of here?” she asked excitedly.

“I don’t think so? I can’t really control it. It just happens. Zip-zapping from one place to the next all willy-nilly.” He shrugs apologetically.

Roxy pouts in return. She looks down in the hole, which is just big enough for two. “Wanna join me in my super awesome fort? I’m hiding from my responsibilities by you-know-who.”

“Would I!” He springs up, floating over the hole himself. “And who exactly?” He lands on the ground one foot at a time, like he’s been landing gracefully all his life.

She shrugged with shoulder, scrunching her face for a split second. “Two people, actually. One is a bitch and the other has doggy ears.”

“Jade?”

“That’s the one!”

Suddenly, as if on cue, the door bursts open, a raging dog-girl being the culprit. “I smell something.”

Roxy makes a raspberry. “Sorry, been fartin’ all day. Musta been those burritos I ate. Whew!” She waved her hand in front of her face, fanning the air.

“Not farts!” she snapped. “Besides, you just made that noise with your mouth.”

_Pbblt!_ A sound came from behind her. Roxy knew it was John, and resisted all urges to take a looksee and tell him to keep it up. “Not that time! Wow, I sure am a stinker today.”

Jade crossed her arms. She was not amused. “So you mean to tell me that you had the ability to make your own burritos with your void powers, because I sure haven’t fed you, but you can’t make a simple matriorb?”

Roxy rolls her eyes. “I told you, it’s complicated!” she said, exasperated.

“This is a waste of time. I came in here because I smelled my ecto-brother.” She squinted her eyes at Roxy. “He’s in your fort, isn’t he?”

Roxy looks down just as John looks up. Crap. She shouldn’t have done that. John paled, motioning with his arms to not say anything. Well, duh. She looked back at Jade. “Nope, no boys allowed in my fort.”

In an instant, Jade made all the blocks disappear, and Roxy fell flat on her ass. She turned at her waist, expecting John to be there, exposed like a lion in a circus cage, but he was gone. Probably zapped to a far-off place while she wasn’t looking. She tried not to feel disappointed as Jade yelled incoherently in the background.

“I told you,” Roxy said, narrowing her eyes at Jade. “Now I have to start over,” she glowered.

“Oh, shut up!” Jade shouted, slamming the door behind her. As she did, a pale arm came through the door, waving at her. She thought it might be John, so she walked over to it quickly, shaking it like they just met.

* * *

 

John reeled his arm back through the window. It felt like someone actually grabbed it. He knew sticking his arm into suspicious things was a bad idea. Still, the feeling of someone else’s hand lingered. It definitely felt human, and it like someone wanted to come through with him.

He stared at his own hand for a good thirty seconds before muttering, “I wonder who that was.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have a special place in my heart for JohnRox, even moreso now.


End file.
